Now Playing Tracks

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Watching Pokémon on Saturday mornings as a kid

  • DC:

    Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-

  • Marvel:

    YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS

  • DC:

    We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.

  • Marvel:

    HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE

  • DC:

    The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.

  • Marvel:

    DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER

  • DC:

    After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.

  • Marvel:

    PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW

  • DC:

    We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...

  • Marvel:

    NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.

  • DC:

    We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.

  • Marvel:

    NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM

  • DC:

    We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.

  • Marvel:

    FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO

  • DC:

    Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-

  • Marvel:

    NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK

  • DC:

    Wait-

  • Marvel:

    NEW FEMALE THOR

  • DC:

    I didn't-

  • Marvel:

    NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA

  • Marvel:

    TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE

  • Marvel:

    PEACE

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